I'm definitely not looking to be dominated / probed with kitchen utensils / bent over and spanked. No long term relationships, no middle-of-the-night booty calls, and while I could definitely use the cash, please don't offer me money to participate in your 50+ orgy.
Please be charming, intelligent, and as pretty as I am (if not more so). Dogs get bonus points. Also points are awarded to anyone with a penchant for old-school British literature and / or rabid Red Sox fans. Kindly do not have any large, protruding hairy moles, children, or venereal diseases.
I'm a total social deviant. Perpetually sarcastic, prone to un-PC conduct and removal of clothing in public venues, and inebriation. Snarky, intellectually devastating, with a winning personality and an arsenal of crap puns. I devour books with as much voracity as I would a plate of Indian take-out.
Short, slim redhead. Beaming smile, a sprinkling of freckles, perpetually perky boobs, and the soft, lovely curve of my shoulders has inspired my personal trainer to swear off men forever.
If you are anything less than my intellectual equal, I will mock you subtly to your face for my own enjoyment, then use you for whatever minimal sexual pleasure I can glean from your sub-par coital maneuvers, after which I will discard you on the roadway of life like a crumpled Taco Bell wrapper. You've been warned.
Respond with picture / favorite book / politically incorrect joke, and charm my pants off.
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