A Love Letter

Sean,

We always knew it would end, and maybe that's why it was as good and honest as it was. When there's limited time, when every night could be the last one shared, you hold each other closer. You always said that I would break your heart, but didn't you ever take into account that my happiness was linked with yours? A little piece of both of us has broken off and gone away. But such is life. And we are strong, and we are intrepid, and we possess that beautifully distinctive humanistic quality, the ability to heal. I hope I find my way to you again. I hope I can give myself to you, all of myself. If I came back, I would love you better and more fiercely than you can imagine. And if we both go on to love other people, we will love them even more honorably because of what we've shared. That doesn't ever take away from us, from the lovely, sheer simplicity of the us. It was easy at first, you and I, and then it was harder than we ever anticipated. But regardless, it was still beautiful.

Sometimes love just is. That, and nothing more. It isn't enough to sustain a relationship, or to lead down the logical route to matrimony and then a slow easy transition into old age with a stockpile of memories. It doesn't answer to the quotidian characteristics of age, geography, gender. Sometimes love answers only to itself and it exists solely for itself. And when that happens, when it can't carry on and the us ends, we hold it in a little pool in the bottom of our hearts and remember the old adage that the greatest and bravest thing is to love, as deeply and fully as we can.

You brought me back to life. You kissed me and held me and talked, listened, made me laugh. You breathed vivacity into me when I was an empty shell of what I had been, and because of that I have loved you more completely in these few short weeks than I have loved in years. For that, and a million other reasons, I will always carry you with me and remember the best parts of you and I.

I hope I find my way back to you.
I love you, Sean. Always.


Kate